Friday, May 21, 2010

moving on

Graduation is connected with a lot of emotions. Mostly happiness, a lot of relief, a dash of fear, but also, and a larger part than I first realized, sadness. In the beginning of the year, when graduation felt miles and miles away, I was just excited. Excited to leave, excited to start new things, excited to get it over and done with. No part of me was really sad, no part of me was thinking that I may not see some people anymore. Besides, the people I really wanted to stick close to were already my close friends, and I'd see them anyway.

This year has brought me close to so many new people. Not a lot, but a handful and that handful has become so significant. I don't know if the same goes for them, and honestly that doesn't matter. They've meant a lot to me, and I'm honestly starting to get sad as the days count down closer to that cap & gown day. I'll miss kids in my classes that I became close to just because we sit close to each other, but that I soon realized were awesome people that I wouldn't mind seeing and laughing with every day. I'd miss the people who wiggled under my radar, that gained my friendship before I could even blink, that's how fast it happened. I'd miss the annoying underclassmen that thought I was so funny and continues to say "I'll miss you!". I'd miss the kids I strongly dislike, if only because they gave my friend and I something to rant about each and every day. I'd miss the teachers, the too-bright-lights, the desks that seemed to permanently turn my butt numb.

I won't miss homework, the way the school is either too cold or too hot, or the way that the freshman clog up the halls like annoying blood clots. Graduation is a truely adult thing, and I didn't even realize it. In adulthood, and I know this because of adults constantly saying it, things happen that you can't stop. Their are things in adulthood that happen that we're not always happy about, but we need to do anyway. There are teary goodbyes, misleading relationships, scary accidents, happy moments, loving memories....all of these things combine to make the sourly sweet concoction that is adulthood. I just didn't imagine I'd get my first taste of it so soon.

I'm going to have to say goodbye to some people that I may never hang out with again, who I won't have class with again, who I won't laugh with again. Facebook can only do so much, and even if they're an email away, it's not the same. School is a social network of the highest degree. We spend most of our time in those seats surrounded by each other, and I'm going to miss the individuals that have made me laugh so much that I'm going to have premature laugh lines around my mouth and eyes.

I'm going to spend the days I have left enjoying brilliant laughter, showing them I appreciate them, and that I'm going to miss them. There are some really amazing people in the world, and I happen to know quite a few of them.


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