Tuesday, July 27, 2010

put that on my to-do list, please

I can't even tell myself no one told me this being an adult was gonna be hard. All I've ever heard from people is that this adult thing was gonna suck....and heck if they weren't right. Well, half right. Sure, I'm 18 and officially an adult, and the adult world I'm beginning to get a taste of does suck. But just because a piece of pie isn't to your liking doesn't mean all pie is bad. It's the right kind of pie you need to find, the right flavor, and I just haven't found the right flavor of adulthood yet. So far I've found the adulthood where I'm license-less, job-less, financial aid-less but already have loans to acquire debt for. It's like diving into a shallow pool, you just know it won't end well. I just need to curve upward at the right moment and avoid that pool floor from slamming my face in.

I've made myself a check list. Yes, a real things-to-get-done check list. Did I feel way older than I should have? Yes! But it helped, and I actually got things done. First on the list was getting my college to answer some questions, and although not all were answered, some confusion has cleared up. Second I accepted my loans. Can't say I'm exactly happy about this, but it's better than having gotten nothing at all. Third on that checklist came this morning in the form of a cute guy who fixed my computer. Yay! The battery is no longer on the fritz and my computer is 98% back in business. Some things got messed up by what the guy on the phone had me do to get rid of a software problem but I'll just call them back and get it worked out. Last on my list is to clean my room and I can't even begin to estimate when I'll get around to that. We have entered Phase 4 aka Code Red. If you've read my older posts, we have been through this very story once before. I tried cleaning it a few days ago but you know that phrase "it needs to get worse before it gets better"? Yeah, totally applies to my room right now. Way worse than it originally had been.

My sister is away, off to my grandparents so it gives my mother and I time to just hang out together. I like it because when she's not here we fight less and I'm generally less stressed. My sister and I just clash, it's something that's always happened and now a days it's more clash than not. I blame us both equally, mostly. So I've been enjoying my time with my mother. It's nice to just spend time with her now that I'm older. I feel like we understand each other more, where usually there had been a barrier. It's easier to talk to her, and that's saying something because she's always been someone I could talk too.

I have a ton of august birthdays coming up. A handful of family, my friend and a handful of her family. Kelsi is throwing a huge birthday bash and as the best friend I've been helping her plan it so it'll be friggin amazing. We already went party shopping but I don't think it's the last. She's got a lot of plans and I'm happy to go along with them and even add some of my own; I want her birthday to be everything she's imagined. I also need to head to Kohls and find something to wear. It's a nightclub theme so people are suppose to dress nicely and I plan to be dressed smokingly-hot nicely. My checklist? Yeah, finding her a birthday present. I think I have an idea but we'll see. I'm a very indecisive person so it could change.

Summer has passed like a blink of the eye. Every damn summer it happens and every damn time I realize it I get angry. Summer you need to last LONGER, Summer you need to BE longer. College is just around the corner and that isn't just me heading to class. It's also friends leaving and harder hurdles to jump over and other things I'm dreading to think about. As long as I stay determined and keep my head on straight, I think I can make it out alive!

I still wish I could slow-mo my summer down, though.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Candles By Victoria: First Ever Review

Via Youtube i stumbled across this site called Candles By Victoria where it's a women's own business handpouring home made candles. I'd been looking at her site for a couple of weeks before I decided to host one of her "Candle Parties". I haven't gotten to order yet, I was waiting until after my party for my party benefits, but my mother helped me out and decided to order some candles.

She got 5 of the Mini Candles (page 14 for $5.00 each), which I must say are just adorable. They come with this cute sticker on the stop that looks homey, vintage and aged to just give it a touch of warmth.

First up is...
Banana Nut Bread.

Like most of these scents, which are all bakery, they have an overwhelming buttery smell to them. I'm pretty positive that when burned the butter scent will mellow out and give way to the other scents making up the candle. I smell a nutty scent under the butter, and maybe a tad bit of banana. It's not very powerful though. It's a good scent, probably not one I'd buy in a bigger candle but would definitely burn this one. I'd enjoy smelling this in my room or throughout the house.

Butter Brickle

This is like a much much stronger version of the butter smell I get in the Banana Nut Bread. Overwhelmingly so. It's not bad, very buttery sweet smelling. I don't know if I'd want my house to smell like this, because I'm not one for butter scents. My mom got these so that's what she's into. It's not bad, I don't hate it, but I want to see how powerful this is when burning because if its as strong when burning I doubt I'll enjoy it. So if you like butter scents, you'll love Butter Brickle, if you hate it or just wan it in a weaker scent, this isn't the candle for you.

Apple Pie Ala Mode

I'm not exactly sure what Apple Pie Ala Mode is. I don't get if it's different from apple pie or something and I don't feel like looking it up. What i smell in this is a Cinnamon-y apple, not strong on the cinnamon but just equal enough to have that nice complimenting smell. It reminds me of late fall, but especially winter/Christmas. It just reminds me of all the candles with reindeer and Santa's on them people have out that smell like baked goods. This is such a good scent for the holidays. It's apple pie but with a sweet note to it, or so I smell, like floral without flowers, if that makes sense. Probably not. There's another scent in with it but I can't figure out what. It's good though, if you like apple and a tad of cinnamon and winter scents.

Bubbling Butterscotch Sundae

This one smells so much like Butter Brickle. I just put them one by one up to my nose and it's almost identical. This one has a bit more of a ice cream note to it, but not enough to tip it over into a whole new scent, they are very very similar. I smell the butterscotch so well in this. Its the first scent to hit my nose, but I can almost smell the sweet ice cream dairy scent underneath it, just barely, which gives it that extra kick over Butter Brickle. Just like Butter Brickle, though, this is not my favorite scent. Not a butter fan, what can i say? Like it on popcorn, not in candles.

Butter Rum Crunch

I don't want to say I'm disappointed in these candles, because I'm not. This was not my order, this is not my taste in candles, and the scents themselves are not gross...they just aren't for me. So all these butter scents really aren't doing it for me, and I'm not good at picking out the different between them because just like the rest this one smells exactly the same. I honestly smell no difference between this one from the last one or the last one after that. I'm sure when burnt they'll smell a bit different from each other, seeing as how she puts 3 scents into every candle, but the butter scent will remain and ultimately that's what is ruining them for me. I'm not a butterscotch fan, whereas my Mother is, and that's just how it is. In my orders they'll be more fruity, or sweeter bakery scents like icing or something. It's just done to taste, is what it is.

Black Forest Cake

This one is probably my favorite. I wouldn't get this again, I doubt, but it's a good smell. It's true to its word. It's Black Forest Cake. I smell the chocolate and it's so amazing how I can smell the cherries. The cherries you smell the most, they're very strong, but it's like if you bent over a Black Forest Cake and took a wiff! It smells fresh, like it was just made or the cherries were just picked. This is going to make people think we're baking a cake when we burn it. Can't wait! The one thing is though that with cold throw it's very cherry-strong. When you smell it it kinda makes you move away a bit because it's very very strong, but I think anyone can see that when burnt it will mellow out a bit, distribute the rest of the smells and fill the house with a wonderful scent.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST.... every order gets a free Scent Shot. They're used for a couple things. Sometimes people try out scents with them, but most of the time (and what they're really for) is to be used in a Tart Warmer which is an electric device that gets plugged in that melts the shots. I don't have one yet, so I can't burn it, but hopefully I'll get one soon.

Warm Vanilla Sugar

This was different then how I thought it would smell when i read the label. I thought it would be more like the bath and body work warm vanilla scent, instead it's more...floral. It smells very clean, and I can small the vanilla but its faint. Mostly it smells like body soap to me, or hand soap. Maybe it'll change when I burn it, but otherwise it's not a bad scent. It's clean, soapy; it would make my room smell better than it does, believe me. She has a lot more vanilla scents to try from so I'll just have to go through them to find which one I like!

Overall I'd give it a B+ because although the scents weren't up to my taste, they really smelled good and her candles are absolutely adorable. Can't wait to place my order!

Otherwise known as the Best Day Evar

Sometimes you just need those days. You know, those days. The ones that are planned, but then suddenly something random comes up so you free some time for them and the day just becomes ten times more better. I had one of those days today, and it was something I've been needing for a while.

Summer hasn't gone how I planned, and I've said that before, but that doesn't mean it's been bad. This has probably been one of the best summers I've had yet. Sure, I haven't lost much weight, I haven't gotten than all-over tan I wanted or even gone to the beach. What I have done is seen my friend so much more often then I usually do, gone to the lake and created so many wonderful memories that it's unbelievable. Our days are not suppose to be penned in with ink; they are suppose to be penciled in lightly so when we erase to make changes, we only see the new marks. My day was completely erased and rearranged.

I had planned to go with mom today to do some school shopping. She had coupons and now a days coupons are things we don't pass up. But I got a call this morning at 8am (far too early for me to even be up yet, since I usually stay up later in the summer) from my best friend asking if I wanted to go with her, her mom and her brother to shop for her awesome 18th birthday party we're throwing. As long as I would get back in time to go with mom, I was all in! So we headed out to Party City and from there on I had a blast. I may be 18, I may be asked to have a checking account, to pay for college and to even get a drivers license (something I'm still working on) but no one can take my childhood spirit away. Just today I asked mom "When do you become an adult? Is there like a transition, because I don't think I'm ever going to fully become an adult." My mom told me there isn't. You just are expected to do "adult things" that come first. Well today was not an adult day.

I played with party favors, got the phrase "taste like candy canes on christmas" stuck in all our heads so we kept repeating it at randomly (and loudly) everywhere we went, made crude jokes, stole candy from the candy aisle (just by opening up the packs and taking a tart or two) and even had a Warhead (the candy) War. Resulting in me peeing my pants. It was just fantastic to hang with my best friend, her brother (who may be immature but sure is funny as hell) and her overzealous mom.

We had lunch then blasted music (much to her mothers dismay and protests of wanting country music, which we ignored) to which we sang loudly to out the car door windows. I made it back a bit later than planned but still got to go hang with mom and shop with her. Shopping with my mom is always a nice time. It doesn't have to be frantic or extremely funny; just hanging one-on-one with her is great for me. I love spending time with my mom and I had a lot of fun shopping with her. If there is one person I could always rely on, it's her. No matter what we fight about, what we may say during those fights, she's got my back and I've got hers.

So after that (yes, I know, BUSY day) I texted my bestie, the one I'd hung out with this morning, to ask if she still wanted to swim. She said yes, so we loaded up the car and I headed over to Kelsi's house for some swimmin' fun. I love swimming. It's relaxing, its fun, and things become ten times funnier when you put yourself in water.

We were flipping, we were just wading around, but most of all we laughed. One of my favorite things to do. Later when it was just yes in the pool (minus her boyfriend and his brother) Kelsi started seeing this "vortex" (just black dots in her eyes) which was 10 minutes of fun for her, and hilarious fun for me seeing her go around looking amazed and trying to play with it. I sure know how to pick 'em, and I really mean that. My friends are amazing; they provide me with laughs and I have some of the most beautiful, kind and reliable friends ever. I have been blessed.

I hung out at her house after swimming a bit, but I headed home then eagerly because my mothers Candles By Victoria order came in! I think after I upload this order I'll do a mini review just in case if anyone ever stumbles over this, and really just for my own pleasure because I love reviewing things. I can't wait to put my own order in.

Today was great. Tomorrow, though, I got work to do. I have a whole list I wrote out for myself, some of the things on it include college, cleaning my messy room, calling Dell tech support and finding a perfect present for my best friend. Hopefully I can get that all done tomorrow because I hate it when I have a list of chores to do. Yuck!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The End

Things are not going well in paradise today. Actually, to be honest, I am as far away from paradise as you can get. Paradise is over there, clearly mocking me, as I watch from afar with a look of longing and feeling of alienation. But I started writing this out for a whole different reason, for something much happier. I know some people release emotions through writing, and sometimes I can too, but today is not that day. Writing about what happened will be neither therapeutic or relieving for me; it will just cause the thorn in my heart to twist further down.

There are a couple things that I tend to do when I'm very upset and wish my hardest I could get away from it. I listen to music, which has always been very helpful for me, I shut myself in my room (check!) and I do something to distract myself. Sometimes it's a marathon of my favorite movies, or my favorite TV show, but today it was video games. Yes, video games was the chosen device to clear my head and just take me away for a while. It worked.

I'm a huge fan of the Kingdom Heart video games. I have the first, I have the second, I have the Chain of Memories game, and a long while ago I added to my collection and got the newest; Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days. I don't even remember when I got it...I'm pretty sure I got it this year, but if not then it was sometime around the end of last. Either way, I had pretty much gotten over halfway through and stopped playing because I couldn't beat this one Boss. I picked it up, beat that boss, played it some more and then yet again abandoned it. This time I had a new reason to pick it up and beat it, and my need to just escape reality led me to finished the game. Over this past day and a half I beat the game and I feel so accomplished. There is nothing better than seeing something out until the end, no matter what it is. Hearing that music play as the credits rolled? Pure heavenly music to my ears.

If I had to rate the game, I'd probably by default give it a 10/10. Looking really down into my cons/pros of the gaming aspect I'd probably readjust that to a 8 or 9 out of ten. I can't complain much though. The graphics were as good as they've always been, the cut scenes were always enrapturing, and the game play was mostly exciting. There were some really hard bosses, and some really boring missions, but for the most part I was happy to play it and didn't get bored. It's really funny going back on my Kingdom Hearts history because I played the first game religiously, and when the second came out, I played that one till the very end. So I ended up beating the second before the first, only because the first was so freaking hard. It was maybe...a year and a half before I beat the first game. Actually, it might have been way longer. I just had stopped playing but finally I loaded my old game and was so determined to finish it; and I did!

I haven't beat the Chain of Memories gameboy advance game yet. Mostly because it's card style playing and that's really not my cup of tea. I like the game well enough but the game style is enough to kinda throw me off; I'll finish it sometime though. Adding this Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days game under my belt feels pretty great.

I have to admit the ending made me tear up. You get into these characters, especially after playing the games for years and watching their stories play across screens. It made it ten times worse when the ending of the game had two best friends saying goodbye to each other; in a very unconventional way, of course, but still. When Roxas looked down at Xion and said "But who will I have ice cream with?!" I lost it. With already being an emotional wreck and feeling this sense of loneliness...watching these two friends lose each other had my eyes brimming with tears. Even now thinking about it makes my sight blurry.

I guess maybe I feel too much of a sense of accomplishment, but I just love the feeling of finishing a game. I think I deserve it, too. Some of those Boss's were hard! When I beat the first one the ending screen came as such a surprise to me that I snapped a photo of it on my phone (which I'm pretty sure I still have) and I did the same this time.

Although the pretty drawing of the characters...The End seems even too final for me. I guess I just hate reaching the end of a good story. I loved this game, and I'll definitely end up playing it again.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Fourth of July (relived on the 10th)

So this is way late, but I want to say my fourth of July was way fun! We celebrated over the course of two days, Saturday & Sunday. The first day mom and I had stopped up at the gas station and gotten some fireworks so that first night was us testing them all out and my cousin having a scary run in with a bumblebee firework. Toooooo funny! I had the best veggie hotdog of my life with mayo, mild banana peppers and mustard. Ohhh, delish. Anyone cringing reading that? You have NOT tried it. It sounds disgusting but tastes like pure heaven. So the first day was just my parents and I (minus my sister who has been away for a while and just arrived back home today), and my cousin's wife & daughter.

The second day was a bit more...Fourth of July-ee. We had the same cousin over with his family, but along with them they brought his wife's mother and sister. Then my dad invited a couple friends of his, my mom invited her best friend and her husband, and I invited my lovely friend layla. It was a hot hot day filled with laughter, talking, water balloon fights (non-surprisingly most of the balloons taken by the adults to throw at each other, my little cousin didn't want to get that wet...she did anyway haha) which ended in everyone soaked, grilling out and delicious DESSERTS. Later when everyone left, because no one stayed as long as they had the previous day, Dad, Mom and I did the new fireworks we had went up and gotten that morning. It was just fun. It was so much fun because we had a bunch of people over (which never happens), we had a great time with friends, amazing food, and days like this do not come around as often as they should.

♥ my family.

Hopefully hitting the water this Monday! Not the beach, sadly, but a lake! Hey, water is water, right? We'll be hitting the beach sometime this summer though. I demand it!!
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