Wednesday, December 15, 2010

that green and red feeling

I've never been a really festive person until recently. When you're a kid, it's more of the giving from the holiday than the contributing to the holiday, and it's not like suddenly I'm all ready to go for every holiday that passes- I'm not. It takes some prodding and dipping my big toe in first before I start to really feel ready for any given holiday. So maybe I'm jumping on this Christmas bandwagon after everyone's found their seats, so I'm left to sit by the weird kid who talks about nothing but *insert something odd here* in the front of the bus. Maybe I've arrived halfway through the Christmas songs, and hardly know the words, but you know what? I don't mind. Because now I'm ready for this holiday and I'm jumping in here and there to sing the versus of the song I do know.

I mean, why should I let this holiday pass without sucking the fun, celebration and pure joy out of it first? Christmas for some might be about presents and getting tons of money, and that's fine. If that's what their Christmas is for them, I'm not to judge. But my family has never had money like that, so Christmas hasn't been about getting the newest and hottest things. We get gifts we asked for, some money, but mostly it's a great time to visit my family, thank my mother for being amazingly wonderful, and getting absolutely blinded by the overload of red & green. I've realized that Christmas isn't just about presents, and that it has a ton of other meanings behind it and that Christmas is almost like Thanksgiving. Surround yourself with family and just be thankful. Thankful for being healthy, thankful for having your loved ones, and thanking God everyday that you can be thankful.

My family has a Christmas party every year. Most years I just want them out of the way, and one year I left early because I was crampy and sick and I just didn't want to deal with it. This year I am so ready to go. I want to kiss and hug family I haven't seen for a while, hug my Grandmother (who I'm so very thankful is still with us) because I've missed her so much, and hopefully laugh so hard my stomach cramps, but this time in a good way. Reveling in this Christmas spirit has made me realize that not everyone has the same feelings for this holiday, and not everyone has an awesome family to spend time with. I had a conversation with a man that works with me that nearly broke my heart. He's older, and the type of guy that leaves you going "he is so sweet" because he is. We're good friends, and he always helps me clear tables and serve the food when it's busy, or when it's slow because he's just bored, haha. Anyway, I asked him what he was doing for Christmas and he said he wasn't sure but that he might buy himself a new necklace because...he didn't have anyone else to buy something for. Now, my boss is his nephew, or somehow related anyway, but he still doesn't have much family around, or a significant other. It just made me feel terrible because here is such a sweet person, and he's going to be lonely on Christmas. Same for the boys in the kitchen, well, a couple of the boys anyway. One has a couple kids and spends it with them. But the others don't have anyone either. So I decided to bring a small bit of a present for them.

That's why I just got finished making 20+ cupcakes all decked to the freakin halls in red & green, because tomorrow I work and decided to bring them in for them as a small treat. Now...they're boys so who knows how appreciative my festive work will go on them, but they should enjoy them (or at least I hope they do, that would suck if no one ate them!). I might even hand a few out to the people who come in at the bar that are regulars, I'm not sure, and give one to the bartender. Heck, whoever wants one can have one! I just want to give as much as I receive these holidays, because a little can go a long way. I know that when someone does something kind for me, I instantly feel really good. Like, a stranger cared. It's a nice feeling, it makes me have a little more hope for our world each and every time.

Not tooting my own horn or anything, but these look awesome.

I have had a baking itch under my skin for a week now. I actually can't stand baking sometimes. I have to really really really want to do it, because otherwise the mess and dishes turns me off so much for cooking/baking it isn't even funny. But I really wanted to do this for my co-workers, even if it seems a bit silly, so I braved the 2 some hours it took to finish them all and the epic clean up, and you know what? That itch is gone and in its place is a smile. I mean, I made some awesome cupcakes, and they even taste good! Satisfaction!

A picture of me, courtesy of my sister.

Not to get off topic, but through the years I have gone through a dozen or so things that I think would really make me happy. It's because once I hear an awesome idea, I want it to become my awesome idea. Like, one time i read about this place that was a old-timey, vintage-esque vegan resturant/bakery type place and all of a sudden I was thinking up names and looking up cute old furniture and figuring out what a kitchen in a place like that even looked like. Every since it's always been in the back of my mind, because those types of places leave impressions on people. I'd love to own a place like that, where regulars came in every single day and I just knew what they wanted because they get it all the freakin time. I love that shit. I mean, at work I love that people at the bar are like "where have you been?" like I don't work there every freakin weekend. But the fact that I've become someone they're use to, and that they know, I love it. I love that I have several costumers that come in a lot and I can say "Hi, nice to see you again!" or something cheesy like that. I'm a sucker for that type of stuff.

But there will always be a tiny baking part of my heart that just sings while I'm making something. That may or may not be because I love food. I think it's amazing and whoever doesn't love it, more for me! ha! Well my christmas baking has officially been quelled. 9 more days until Christmas and only one more left until my birthday, because it's about to be 12:00am here and that's offically tomorrow! One more daaaay! ♥ I'm spending the whole day with my best friend, and then Sunday I'm celebrating with family at the Christmas party. This week is going to be awesome.

I really recommend baking something amazing for the holidays, even if you hate it. Because it'll make you feel like Martha Stewart, and if it helps talk to the "audience" while you're baking. Makes it ten times more fun. I'll have to do that next time I bake. (: Happy Holidays!


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