Saturday, December 11, 2010

put the top down, baby

I am writing this at an ungodly early hour- almost 3 o clock in the morning. I should be sleeping because knowing me waking up tomorrow to get ready for work is going to be living Hell. But I can't seem to close my eyes, because deep within me is this proud bursting feeling that I don't get very often. It makes me restless, makes me want to go do something, because now I can and it's awesome.

Amid the stress college finals has been putting on me, and the anxiousness for the Holidays, today I had my drivers exam. It literally crept up behind me until suddenly I was like "WOAH, this Saturday I go to see if I can finally myself!" I was instantly nervous, and parallel parking cramming sessions began (two days before I had to go, ha). Because of course I'd wait last minute to learn something as important as that, something that would most definitely be on the freaking test. But I went into the exam thinking "the worst they can do is fail me, and then I just come back again!" So while I was nervous, I used the same approach I've used for almost everything (including my first job): the possibility to fail is there, but it is certainly not the worst thing that can happen.

My driving instructor was the type of man who outwardly you think "shit. I got the mean one." and then he'll say something and you're like "double shit. He hates me." But then he'll give you a hint, or help you out, or ask you where you work while you're trying to take a test and you realize. oooooh, you got the guy who does this all the time and is use to all this day after day, but really does want you to do the best you can. So I stuttered, stammered and paused-stupidly through the beginning with the light, wipers, etc test. Then we started driving, and then I parallel parked. Only one try! I was awesome, baby! More driving, more turns, then bam...done! I was asked to follow him, and dazedly I did. Then somehow I took a picture for my license (i even smiled for it, how am I such a dork!?) and then we were off, heading home.

I felt proud, and I still do feel proud. I got both my permit and my license on my first try, something lots of people have done, and something lots of people haven't done. So while I may not be special, I felt special anyway in that moment, and I showed my license to everyone. I mean, even the people I WORK with saw this little plastic ID. I can't even feel ashamed. I can drive, dude! It's a good feeling. The only feeling that isn't good is the insurance one. yikes. But I shall confront that when I get to it.

Overall I feel happy, and proud, and tired. I feel like I have checked something off my list, even if I have a dozen more things on it. I no longer have to stammer my way out of a "do you have any ID?" question, because "no, I only have my school ID..." only takes you so far these days.

I am one step closer to adulthood! (Only one more milestone, really, and that's 21. I'm not all that ready for it to be here yet, so that one can take it's good old time. ;)


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