Tuesday, July 27, 2010

put that on my to-do list, please

I can't even tell myself no one told me this being an adult was gonna be hard. All I've ever heard from people is that this adult thing was gonna suck....and heck if they weren't right. Well, half right. Sure, I'm 18 and officially an adult, and the adult world I'm beginning to get a taste of does suck. But just because a piece of pie isn't to your liking doesn't mean all pie is bad. It's the right kind of pie you need to find, the right flavor, and I just haven't found the right flavor of adulthood yet. So far I've found the adulthood where I'm license-less, job-less, financial aid-less but already have loans to acquire debt for. It's like diving into a shallow pool, you just know it won't end well. I just need to curve upward at the right moment and avoid that pool floor from slamming my face in.

I've made myself a check list. Yes, a real things-to-get-done check list. Did I feel way older than I should have? Yes! But it helped, and I actually got things done. First on the list was getting my college to answer some questions, and although not all were answered, some confusion has cleared up. Second I accepted my loans. Can't say I'm exactly happy about this, but it's better than having gotten nothing at all. Third on that checklist came this morning in the form of a cute guy who fixed my computer. Yay! The battery is no longer on the fritz and my computer is 98% back in business. Some things got messed up by what the guy on the phone had me do to get rid of a software problem but I'll just call them back and get it worked out. Last on my list is to clean my room and I can't even begin to estimate when I'll get around to that. We have entered Phase 4 aka Code Red. If you've read my older posts, we have been through this very story once before. I tried cleaning it a few days ago but you know that phrase "it needs to get worse before it gets better"? Yeah, totally applies to my room right now. Way worse than it originally had been.

My sister is away, off to my grandparents so it gives my mother and I time to just hang out together. I like it because when she's not here we fight less and I'm generally less stressed. My sister and I just clash, it's something that's always happened and now a days it's more clash than not. I blame us both equally, mostly. So I've been enjoying my time with my mother. It's nice to just spend time with her now that I'm older. I feel like we understand each other more, where usually there had been a barrier. It's easier to talk to her, and that's saying something because she's always been someone I could talk too.

I have a ton of august birthdays coming up. A handful of family, my friend and a handful of her family. Kelsi is throwing a huge birthday bash and as the best friend I've been helping her plan it so it'll be friggin amazing. We already went party shopping but I don't think it's the last. She's got a lot of plans and I'm happy to go along with them and even add some of my own; I want her birthday to be everything she's imagined. I also need to head to Kohls and find something to wear. It's a nightclub theme so people are suppose to dress nicely and I plan to be dressed smokingly-hot nicely. My checklist? Yeah, finding her a birthday present. I think I have an idea but we'll see. I'm a very indecisive person so it could change.

Summer has passed like a blink of the eye. Every damn summer it happens and every damn time I realize it I get angry. Summer you need to last LONGER, Summer you need to BE longer. College is just around the corner and that isn't just me heading to class. It's also friends leaving and harder hurdles to jump over and other things I'm dreading to think about. As long as I stay determined and keep my head on straight, I think I can make it out alive!

I still wish I could slow-mo my summer down, though.


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