Prom Con't.

Prom. What can I possible say about Prom? A lot of things really. There were tiny disappointments fueled by an imaginative mind that thought prom was the be-all-end-all, a magical fairytale, a night I'd remember clearly and distinctly. And it was to a point all of those things. But it's forever going to be cemented into the walls of my brain because of the people I went with, the people I danced with, and the memories I now share with those people. Prom is nothing without that. Prom holds this huge title, this right of passage, and the real reason its so great....is because of us.The day of prom went smoothly. There wasn't a snag in my plans that lead me to be late, or to be frustrated or upset. I slept in, then got up and went to my hair appointments house. I got my hair done to the setting of a rambunctious 2 and a half year old, and three older girls making food and watching me get my hair done. We laughed, we talked, and she put 52 bobby pins in my hair along with 8 cute decorative ones. I loved my hair.

(I actually took this picture after prom. Yeah, it stayed in all night!)

After that hour-some long hair session, I went straight home to get dolled up. I pulled my leggings on, stepped into my dress, put on a little eyeliner, slipped my shoes on and was ready to go. I felt beautiful in an awkward way, like a clumsy baby giraffe in a dress. I had everything I needed packed in my huge purse; prom ticket, extra clothes just in case, money for afterward, and my camera. I could not forget my camera. I wanted to remember this night not only in my mind, but in pictures as well. Pictures are aid to the memory; they can help you remember what you might have otherwise forgotten and I want to always have proof of the amazing night I had.


After I was done getting ready, we had to head over to my friends house because that was where the limo was picking us up. Yes, I said it...Limo!! I've never been in a limo in my life before. I've seen them, possibly looked inside one, but I have never been in one and I certainly have never driven around in one like I was of importance, fame, or even royalty! For most of us, that was the highlight of our night. Screw prom, lets go drive around in our limo with fancy dresses on!

The limo wasn't scheduled to come until around 4, so we spent that time alternating between talking and sitting around, and taking pictures. Of course moms, brothers, aunts, everyone who was there had cameras in their hands. It was so weird to see seven cameras pointed at you at once, and then try and decide which to look at. But it was special to get the attention all on us for the day, considering that we don't go to formal events very often and I haven't ever owned a dress as nice as the one I had on.

They told us to pose Charlie's Angels style, so I did.

As you can see, amongst the serious poses and smiles we had going on, we had fun with it as well. We posed, we laughed, we fell, and we got it all on camera. There was a camera going off every 5 seconds. I don't even want to think about some of the faces those cameras all caught me pulling. Although we had a somewhat fun time taking pictures, they were making us uncomfortable and Sam (orange dress) was already hurting in hers due to some issues she had with her dress (and believe me, they continued all night up until the limo dropped us off at our houses). We were sweating and hot, and the pictures fizzled out quickly and were replaced with smoke breaks (for some of the parents) along with banter and chatting until the limo got there.

We were almost to our breaking point of waiting when someone shouted that the limo was here, and our excitement shot right back up to eleven. Commence the taking of a bazillion more photos of us in front of the sweet ass limo, and finally we crawled into it one by one (with us having to stop on the back seat to take pictures of us getting in). Oh, parents.






The limo was amazing. Although it didn't have a open sky roof thing to stick our heads out of (like we'd planned on doing), it was beautiful inside and we had so much fun. Our limo driver was so nice. We were worried we were too loud or being demanding (mostly later at night, when we asked him to drive us to get fast food, but I'll get to that in a minute), but he was telling us to crank the music as loud as we wanted, and he didn't mind at all. He was sweet, and even said he was grateful for his job of driving us to prom because otherwise he'd be up in New York driving around. Yeah, I don't blame the guy.

The inside was beautiful, the lights changed colors and they had these beautiful glasses to drink from.

My best friend Kelsi (purple dress) and her boyfriend Steven sitting next to her.

We all looked so beautiful (and handsome) that sitting in that limo we were royalty. We were famous. We were of extreme importance. There weren't a group of better looking people than us, and I don't care how egotistical that sounds. We were hot, we were awesome, and we had such an amazing time together. I loved spending prom night with these amazing people, every single one of my friends made the night more than just Prom. They made it a night I won't ever forget.

Although we had joked about ditching prom and driving around in the limo, we soon arrived at prom after a 30-35 minute drive (more or less that time anyway; it seemed pretty quick but I wasn't keeping time). We timed our arrival time pretty perfectly, we weren't standing outside for the doors to open more than ten minutes. I was in amazement at how fabulous everyone looked. The girls were in the most beautiful dresses I've ever seen and I don't know how many compliments I gave out that night, but I couldn't help it! These were the people I was use to seeing in jeans, sweatpants, tee shirts and tanks. The guys cleaned up pretty nicely too, and everyone just looked picture perfect.

We picked a table off to the side of the dance floor so that we weren't exactly isolated, but were weren't directly in the middle of everyone either. And that meant the dance floor was in easy access to us, which was a plus. 'Cause I had some serious dancing to do. The place was very nice. The table arrangements were nice, with flower centerpieces and white table clothes. It looked so regal and elegant, a word I wouldn't ever associate with my senior class in a million years. They had very diligent servers who were nice and polite.

We had a slide show of pictures of our senior class in the background above the dance floor.

The beginning of prom was a bit boring. It was the greeting of friends and then the taking of a thousand and one pictures with said friends, but also the waiting for the food. Hungry teenagers waiting for food? Very very bad thing. So yeah, that part was a bit boring, and when we finally did get our food, it was a bit disappointing. It wasn't bad, I wouldn't go as far as to say that. I ate it fine, but it wasn't as good as we'd hoped, although I loved the mash potatoes. Those were pretty good. The desserts they put out later were pretty good too. Better than the main meal.

So after we were done eating, they had a slow dance for couples which is the trick to breaking the ice and getting people out on the dance floor. We probably weren't even into our third fast dancing song of the night when something happened and the music stopped. I think something blew, and we were 20 minutes without music, but I hadn't even really gotten into my dancing groove at that point, so it wasn't too bad of a wait. They eventually got it fixed and the music was as loud as ever. Of course, at these things you don't dance, not in the way you look majestic and rhythmic. No at prom you sway your hips, jump around on your feet, and for a lack of a better word (mostly only if you have a guy, or just a really awesome friend who doesn't mind you getting down and dirty) you grind. My friends and I who didn't have dates just swayed around, moving our hips to the beat and laughing at our stupid dance moves.



So we all had a great time at prom. There was no drama (at least not in my group of friends), I got to dance the night away with great friends of mine, I met someone new (a friends boyfriend), I shared jokes and laughter, and I took pictures I plan to keep forever. We didn't stay till the very end, though. We left 15 minutes early to escape the rush of kids leaving at the same time, and plus we wanted extra time to go find food to eat. Which we found, after having our limo driver check Pizza Hut (closed), so we all settled on Burger King and Taco Bell. Which surprisingly was very very busy at 10:30-11:30 at night. And yes, we did walk into Burger king in our formal wear. It was awesome and the amazed looks, compliments and even the snotty looks we got were all taken in stride.

Sam and I ended up going through Taco Bell drive-threw while the rest of our friends were waiting across the street in a long line at Burger King. We also ended up chatting with the driver who, I have to say it again, is an amazing guy. He was sweet and funny, and didn't mind that we made him take a limo through the drive through of taco bell. He really made the night more memorial, we couldn't have asked for a better person to be putting up with our shenanigans. Especially when we were taking flash pictures that probably were blinding him (because we didn't have the window divider up) and when we had our glow stick wild dance party in the back.


By the time we got our food we were pretty tired. We'd had a danced out night, and most of us had been in our formal wear since morning and were ready to get out of it. We all decided instead of going back to Kelsi's house (where the limo had picked us up) we were just going to individually get dropped off at our houses. So of course I called Mom up telling her to wait outside so she could see a limo pull up in our drive way, and when the driver got to my house you could see flashes going off. Of course more pictures were being taken, how had I even thought there wouldn't?

So over all I think we all had a fabulous time. Last night just proved how much I love my friends and how much fun we all create when we're together. I don't want this to end after high school. I want it to continue on, with more people getting added into the mix but keeping my old friends I know and love to pieces.

Prom was spectacular. I couldn't have asked for a better night, and I honestly won't ever forget this in a million years. Even if I do, I have the pictures to bring the ghost memory back. You can't fake the smiles on our faces or the sparkles in our eyes. That's what prom is all about anyway, isn't it?

PROM!

So Prom Day is finally here. My excitement grows with every change in my laptops digital clock. I've just finished getting myself awake and having breakfast. Now I have to get ready to go get my hair done. If someone doesn't go to prom for the sheer fun of it, they should go so they can feel like royalty. This has been magical. This pent up excitement. This feeling of feeling beautiful.

I want everyone to have a fun time. I want them to have so much fun there isn't a word for it. But I want every one of my classmates to make it home alive, especially since I know more than half are going to after-parties to get wasted. That is their decision, and there was a chance I could have been in their position up until recent plan changes, and even so I hope they all stay safe. We're so close, nothing should chance them getting to their graduation day.

Prom!!! Man, being a senior has had up and down moments but these past weeks have finally decided it for me: I love being 18. No matter how hard it is, I love it. I love my friends and family, going to school and counting down the days. It's been great.

I'll have to update after prom with pictures and such. I'll be way too tired to post anything tonight. I'm going to dance the night away. (:

of nail salons and sticky eyebrows

Although prom is officially tomorrow I feel the beginning of excitement creeping into my soul and digging deep into the muscles around my mouth, itching to make me smile. My friends and I just went to get our nails done this morning so we can look extra glam and fabulous for tomorrow.

Except our nails didn't exactly turn out how we'd thought. Lot's of people find places they love and that's why they stick to them. When you want good service and you find it, you're very reluctant to change it up. You know what those people can do, you've found it and you don't want to play the guessing game of "I wonder if this place is any good". My favorite nail place is an hour and some away though, up by my grandmother, and my one friends cousin had a suggestion of the nail salon she goes to so we went there instead.

Now, I'm sure most of the women who work there are talented. They wouldn't get booked with appointments if they weren't. But with our group...they weren't up to par. I happened to come out with minimal damage and faults with my nails. They actually look nice and for the price I paid, I'm pretty happy with them. I could tell I was given the new girl. There is just a way someone acts when they're new on the job; nervous, shifty, unsure. She had all three of those, and her technique wasn't as swift as those who had been doing it for longer. My best friends nails also turned out pretty nicely. Her nails and mine probably were the best out of all three of us. My one friend though didn't get that mercy. I think there was a communication error. At these nail salons sometimes it's hard to understand their accents, and sometimes they can't understand us. Sam, the friend in question, isn't a nails girl. She isn't use to getting her nails glammed up and I think she knew what she wanted but didn't explain it well. In return, the lady was quick to assume and go with that she thought Sam meant.

This is what mainly caused her nails to come out looking weird. The white tips were too long, there was so much white tip that it covered half her nail; that look isn't normal or natural looking. They were also a little bit longer than she wanted, which I don't really blame the worker for, my friend could have spoken up about that. And to top it off, they were still wet when we left so she ended up smudging them and messing up the polish.

In true typical fashion, instead of getting overly upset, we laughed about it. We were laughing so hard about the faults in some of our nails (and not to mention the wax the women left on my eyebrows! New girl, indeed.) that we couldn't breathe. I look at my nails, and along with the cute designs on them, and the white polish, I see a memory of laughter and fun. I see an upcoming prom with beautiful girls in pretty dresses and boys dressed to the nines. I see a future I'm looking forward too. Life is like the nails we just got; sometimes it doesn't turn out how you wanted it to, but you have to laugh about it. Getting angry at those ladies wouldn't have solved anything, and we could have had them redone but for what? They're just nails. It wasn't the end of the world.

So, we had a fun time. And for the most part, our nails turned out great. I'm excited for music, for dancing, for a table filled with friends, laughter, and memorable moments I won't ever forget. Not to mention the sweet ass limo we are riding in to prom tomorrow, I definitely can't forget that!

life and such

My life at times, most times, seems pretty mundane, but below the surface are a ton of problems coursing madly. This isn't going to be a rant post...more of an outline of things that are happening, or upcoming things happening. I just need a place to clear my thoughts, and this is the perfect place.

With college being the next step, I'm starting to realize that the real world is a lot harder than this teenage world we delude ourselves in. The teenage world is filled with petty drama (for the most part, there are exceptions to everything), amazingly fun times, and school deadlines. Put a few fillers in between those main things, and you basically have what being a teen is like. As if anyone could forget. But coming out from that is like a brick to the face. There is no easy transition from teen world to adult world. There are no definite steps on how to make it easily from one stepping stone to the next. I'm currently in the middle of these steps, one foot on each, and I'm so reluctant to take my foot off my old spot...but at the same time I want to see what the world look likes from this new shiny spot. Even if the shiny spot is way more slippery.

Lots of adults in these past weeks have been telling me "this is how it is". I've been complaining because I can't get a hold of people for college. And now I've got issues with getting money back from one college, and its like...I just want something to go my way. Because it really hasn't been going my way for quite sometime. The good thing is that I'm a resilient person. I can get knocked down, I'll take a few seconds to take what's been thrown at me, and then I get back up to try again. I've been doing this so much that I'm tired. I don't know how much longer I can keep getting up. What with college problems, trying to get a job, growing up in general...no one has the rules to life. No one has the exact booklet of how to make it. It's something you have to learn, it's something you have to yearn as you grow and you get these secrets whispered in your ear. It gets harder at the same time it gets easier. It is way too different from magical teen land. I'm just trying to cope with it one deep breath at a time.

On a happier note, prom is so close! This Sunday! The next few days are going to be filled with excitement. Saturday I go get my nails done, and then Sunday is the big day. I get my hair done by a friend I know, get all dolled up...and then ride in a limo to the magical place our class rented for the night. I don't have a date, and I don't need one! I can create special moments without someone hanging from my arm, especially with my wonderful friends at my side. I plan to laugh, to dance, to smile and enjoy this time as a kid. Because that night that is what we will be celebrating. Our freedom to still be a kid, even if we're so close to crossing that bridge to adulthood. I feel sad, and yet at the same time the feeling of so close is overwhelming.

I'm also super excited for summer. I want sun, i want Popsicle, i want to sleep in, i want to have random days of friends coming over, I want the days all to myself. Summer offers this all and more. I love the flowers, I love the sun (not always the heat), I love the sparkling water, the white puffy clouds and the birdsongs.

I guess everyone feels this overwhelming sensation at times. But the key to it is to remember there are good things waiting on every corner, no matter what dark street you seem to be walking.

Summer

I realized today that there is so much I want to do. Not just in terms of academia or a future job but just life in general. I want to go places, see things, try new things, talk to new people; I just want to do so much. Whatever you believe, the thing we can all agree on is that we have this life to live, and it can be taken away at any moment. Why put something off till tomorrow when we don't even know if we'll get a tomorrow?

It's inspiring now to see everything outside so lush and healthy; the green blinding my irises with it's vibrant hue. Nature around us is in full bloom and that's how I'm feeling, too! I want to make this summer the best summer I've ever had. Not by doing huge things, not by taking long trips or going somewhere expensive, but by enjoying things I never have before. I want to go to a beach because I haven't been to one in years. I want to take walks around the mountain I live on because I can. I want to throw parties with friends on a hot summer night just because we all feel like hanging out. I want cotton candy & smores & popsicles to sticky my lips, and tiredness to edge around my eyes until I summer myself out. I want to wrap up this summer bug I have and spread it around. I'm going to try my hardest to make this summer one I remember by filling it with memories that etch a place in my heart that can't be forgotten.

With that, I give you a list of things I plan to do this summer. In no particular order...

-Go camping
-Bonfires (yes, more than one)
-Go to an amusement park & spend all day there with friends
-Go to the beach
-Popsicles (I want tons of them stocked in the freezer!)
-Soak up the sun & get a tan!
-Road trip to see my friend in another state
-Fishing trip
-Throw a summer (slip n slide) party
-Go to the Zoo & the huge river you can swim in by the Zoo

Those are just some things I've been thinking about that I really want to get done this summer. I'm sure other things will get added to my mental check list, or random things will take place to fill in spaces of boredom. The thing I really want to do this summer is have fun. Even if only a few of those things on the list happen, I will be happy. I'll be happy because the sun is shining, I'll be with family and friends, and I will be a graduated high school student. If I can't smile after that, what is there to smile about? I feel like I'm sitting here, the clock just ticking, and my excitement level increases with every move of the little hand, until I almost can't sit in my chair anymore.

This is going to be one hell of a summer, and I say bring it on.

cleaning

If how I cleaned today is anything to compare to how I'll clean up when I have my own house, with my own family in it...I'm saving up to hire a house cleaner for the rest of my life. My room goes through phases, which all add together to end terribly. Phase 1 is the clothing bomb. The clothing bomb is when I'm too lazy to put away my clean clothes so they get stacked on the chair of my desk, but soon after are then on the floor from my rummaging around to find what I want to wear. This is the start of what i like to call the Apocalypse.

Phase 2 is other odds and ends. Perhaps I was coloring and just didn't feel like putting crayons and paper back. This is now on my floor. Maybe I was going through my school binder and now have random piles of school work all over my floor. This does not get cleaned up later. You can see where phase 2 leads.

Phase 3 is an over flowing hamper that spreads to the surrounding areas of my bedroom floor. This is not to be confused with phase 1 of the room Apocalypse, because it causes a whole new level of catastrophe. Now I have messy and clean clothes strewn about the floor. Have you ever heard of the sniff test? You're a saint if you haven't, because the sniff test (picking it up and smelling to make sure it doesn't smell too badly and is indeed okay to wear) becomes your friend when you're in phase 3.

Phase 4 is code red. Phase 4 is when all the other phases have reached their peak and I can no longer get through my room without making designated pathways to reach the door. It's so bad my own mother does not come in my room for fear of breaking her neck. It's when I forget what color carpeting I have. I usually stay in phase 4 for a long time, or that is until I can't stand it any longer and I must clean it. Today was my buckle-down-and-clean-this-apocalypse-up day.

It took me two days of just half halfheartedly rearranging things and picking things up, and then today was the big kahuna. The phrase is "it has to get worse to get better", well the first two days was me making it worse. Today was me making it better. Things were on my floor, things were on my dresser, under my desk...I didn't even want to look. But I wrangled my self determination and I spent all day (literally) cleaning my room until now I can see my floor, I can find my clothes in drawers, and I don't have to fear of hurting myself when I want to walk out of my room. It's so nice after I clean it, and it makes me wonder how I can let it get that messy. It's just something that takes a life of its own and before I know it we're flashing Phase 4 warning bells, and praying for the best.

I don't have to worry about the tornado that inevitably will hit my room sometime (my mom says she's giving it a week) from now just yet though. I have time to soak up the cleanness of the room and the hard work I put into making it look this way.

I started my week off by working hard, and I'll end it by partying at Prom. I hope everyone has a fabulous week!

regret nothing

It's weird because mostly when you're a teenager you regret nothing. You don't sit and think about things you wish you'd done, or things you've missed out on. You live in the moment. Yet it seems like this switch has turned on in my brain that says "YOU WILL NEVER GET THIS BACK" and suddenly all these ideas, images, thoughts of what could have happened are flooding my brain.

There are things at school I wish I'd found a way to join in on, sports I wish I'd stuck with, and friends I wish I'd met sooner. Some of these things I couldn't have helped from not happening, some of them I honestly think I could have continued with and seen where they could have gone. I don't regret a ton of things, and regret may even be too strong of a word. More like disapointment, really. My years in high school were fun. They might not have been as party-filled as others, and I may not have been the social butterfly of our class...but for the most part I'm happy with where I stand in the grand scheme of things. I'm happy with it because I like a lot of the out come that came from high school, and the things I'm not so happy with I can change. School helped me learn a lot about myself. It helped me find true friends, it helped me define my personality, it educated me to reach for my dreams, and it also showed me a lot of what I want out of my life.

High School has shown me exactly what True Friends really are. It's shown me that being scared to speak up is irrational, and that my thoughts and opinions are important. I still may not be the best public speaker, and I may not be the skinny homecoming queen, but those are the things I'm working on. (Not that I have to be a skinny homecoming queen, but being healthy is a great thing.) The years in school have shown me the worst in people, and at times, the very best. I've had laughs I've forgotten, but I still feel in my heart, and around the edges of my mouth. I've had cafeteria food that probably shouldn't pass health regulations, but somehow still does. I've had teachers I'll miss, and some I'll be happy to wave goodbye.

So...I don't have that many regrets, and if we're going to give them that title, I'd say they're regretlets. They're small, mostly insignificant "what-ifs" that there's no use lingering on. I can only use those what-ifs to shape my future. They'll propel me to go to more social gatherings, be a part of a team, and speak to new people. All these years as a teen has shown me that what's outside the box, no matter what pretty wrapping paper it has, is nothing compared to whats in it. And I'm finally brave enough to tear open that shiny neatly wrapped present to see just exactly what I've gotten inside.